Another funny story

I hadn't ridden a bicycle in many years but when my wife got a nice-looking used one I was struck with the urge to try it out. It was a tall, green job with lots of levers and gears and it looked like a lot of fun to ride.
One Sunday morning we all got up and dressed for church. It was a bright sunny day out and while I waited for everyone else to get ready, I asked my wife if she minded if I tried out her bike.
"In your Sunday clothes?" she asked.
"Sure, I'll just ride it down the driveway and down the road a little ways and be right back." I stated matter-of-fact, filled with unwarranted confidence. Well, sir, our driveway sloped down hill just enough to coast all the way to the country road where we lived. I hopped on that Japanese hari kari machine and, without using the pedals, coasted all the way down to Hickox road where I intended to make a left turn on to the highway.
It was then I discovered my legs were too short for my feet to reach the spinning pedals, and I hadn't taken the time to familiarize myself with the braking mechanism. As I approached the road traveling at the speed of light, I stood on the right pedal with one foot, like you used to the old bicycles to apply the brake, and nothing happened--except I shot across that road and down a very steep ditch that stopped the bike, but not me.
I flew over the handle bars and made a hole with my nose through the top two boards of a neighbor's wooden fence. I didn't know which was more embarrassing: the dirty looks I got from the horse in the neighbor's pasture, my wife's horse laugh and scolding when she saw my buggered up nose and torn and soiled Sunday clothes, or my kids exploding in gales of laughter as I got a hammer out of the shop and told them all I would be right back; I had to repair the neighbor's fence! True Story! I swear!