Anonymity

With a sigh of frustration, exasperation, and one of relief, I discover that my online anonymity is complete. Do other bloggers experience this same sort of thing? Maybe it's a matter of publishing my blog in the right places. I hate to think of having to post on writers forums but that may be the only way to accomplish it.

a favorite short story

Here is a favorite short story I wrote a few years ago. It came about as a result of a conversation I had with a former customer, an elderly lady who went to the local senior center once a week to play cards with a bunch of other senior ladies who were, to say the least--well, cards.

ELSPETH THE GOSSIP
Even with the window closed, you could still hear the bees buzzing around the hydrangeas and the jonquils. The noise wasn't enough to drown out Elspeth Higginbotham though. Everyone at the Senior Center agreed Elspeth used up more than her fair share of oxygen. I put an eight of spades on the table and Elspeth dropped the Queen of spades right on top of it. "Elspeth...!" I said. But she was still talking.
"You should have seen Marjorie Jean! I can't believe she would wear something like that at the flower show! I have a dress like that but I wouldn't be caught dead wearing it at the flower show. But that Marjorie Jean thinks she can wear anything!" Elspeth took a sip of coffee and said, "I can't stand the coffee here! You ladies know what I bet?"
Elspeth lowered her voice and leaned forward over the table. I wish she would stop leaning forward over the table like that. Every time she does Dorothy drops her cards and stares and it's embarrassing. I know Elspeth is well endowed but I wish Dorothy would stop staring like that. Well, anyway, Elspeth lowered her voice and said in a whisper loud enough so everyone at the tables on either side of us could hear, "I bet they are letting Louise make the coffee again."
Elspeth laid her cards down on the table and crossed her arms. I noticed Dorothy staring again! I do wish she would stop staring! That Elspeth went on saying how everyone knows Louise is married to a South American and how she bet Louise's husband grew coffee beans down there.
"I bet that's why they let Louise make the coffee," Elspeth was saying. It was my turn again so I laid the Ace of spades on the table and gave Elspeth my most intense hinting look. She ignored me and threw down the three of clubs!
"Elspeth...!" I said. And she kept right on talking about Mrs. Brunamaker's son Richland.
"Everyone knows they call that boy 'Richie' but I'll never understand why!" Elspeth said. "Why, I don't know of a person alive who doesn't know that 'Richie' is short for Richard and Mrs. Brunamaker's son's name is not Richard, it's Richland!"
It was Elspeth's turn to deal and she pulled the pile of cards over and began to shuffle them. All the other ladies at our table began to smirk at Elspeth because they didn't think she was going to be able to shuffle and deal the cards and keep on talking; they haven't known Elspeth Higginbotham as long as I have. Elspeth dealt the cards and we all counted ours because Elspeth was talking about the sermon at the Presbyterian church and we were sure she had misdealt.
"That new pastor they got is way too young to preach in a church that size," she said, "but those Presbyterians think they're so up and coming! Why, I heard from Matilda Watson over at the grocery store that they are even starting a young people's mission trip to South America! Can you imagine that? I bet they'll probably get Louise's husband to act as their chaperone! Maybe they won't even have a chaperone," Elspeth said, "Hmmmph! Those Presbyterians think they're so up and coming!"
"Don't you go to that Presbyterian church, Elspeth?" I asked.
"Well, I used to. But my Bert says that pastor they have over there is too young to be preaching in a church that size. He says he thinks those Presbyterians are getting a little uppity. He says if they have the time and money to send those young people to South America, they don't need our time and money anymore. By the way, did you know that Matilda Watson was to the doctor the other day? She told me they told her to eat more roughage. She told me that right in the vegetable aisle at the grocery store but do you know what I saw she had in her cart? Well! I can tell you for sure it wasn't roughage!"
There Elspeth went again! Leaning forward over the table and lowering her voice so everyone in the room could hear her. And that darn Dorothy! I do wish she would stop staring!
Elspeth and the bees kept droning on and on and I put the Ace of hearts on the table. There! I thought. Let's see that gabby Elspeth Higginbotham take that trick!

Weekend update

I find myself at work this afternoon (Sunday) watching Home Improvement on my laptop while my wife works at her desk catching up on some of her duties as a training Coordinator--a new job for her at the same time I am starting this new job as a customer service rep. Medicare issues, policies, and regulations are very complex and I don't have any tools or machinery I can get my hands on to fix, build, or otherwise work on. I just have a desk full of papers, cheat sheets, and books about all the medical insurance info this job requires.

On a brighter note, I hope to put some of my short stories and other works on this blog. I'd rather put them on my own website but I don't have one yet. I hope to have one later this year if all goes well.

This job has some impressive requirements to fullfill and there is some questions in my mind as to whether or not I can do it but I am determined to follow my wife's advice and give myself a chance. Who knows? I might actually be good at it and enjoy it.

Gather.com experience

As I stated earlier, I recently signed on the Gather.com website at the advice of a writer friend to gain more exposure, and a chance to win a writing contest, for my completed novel, The Antiquarian Chronicles. It was certainly an interesting, if not deflating, experience. My work was rated very low by the few people (4) who read it and bothered to comment. I read the guidelines, the contest rules, and the FAQ's and decided to give it a go. After the novel's first chapter was posted, I read the readers' comments and was surprised at the caustic posts. One opined that my use of a southern vernacular was "God-awful". I thought this was funny because I was raised for period of time in the deep South. The same person was indignant that I had, he said, compared a black servant to a black dog. I said in the novel, they both had black hair, both had brown eyes that twinkled when mischief was afoot, etc. It was a comparison, a literary device like a simile, a metaphor, a hyperbole, a pun, a fundamental image device to establish the fact that a rich man's servant/friend and the rich man's pet had certain characteristics in common. How many times have we all noticed the similarity between a pet owner and his or her pet? Have we then made disparaging remarks about it? Hopefully not, but some people have the distinct inability to distinguish between an insult and a literary device in a written work.

I also noted how the same few people seemed to read and comment on the first chapters posted by others. These noteworthy scribes (noteworthy for what I was never able to decipher) took exception to most everything. Amazingly, they cut down to one degree or another most every work posted and the few they had good things to say about were terrible in my own opinion, but I thought these unfortunate authors' efforts were worthy of positive comment if nothing else. It is a difficult thing to put one's thoughts into words, especially cogent words, and place them in the public arena for comment and criticism. Having done so, it is only polite and courteous to find something good to say about a written work before making comments about needed improvements, and even then there is a right way and a wrong way to make suggestions.

After taking all I could from a couple of these salacious coxcombs, I decided to remove my novel so I could submit it elsewhere in the more traditional or contemporary route: through an agent or publisher. I couldn't find where or how to accomplish this so I took the only route I could: I posted a caustic comment of my own about one of these pseudo-erudite commentators. Sure enough it accomplished my purpose. My novel was removed from the site forthwith. Without, I might add, so much as a warning or email notice from the management. They never contacted me or responded to my communications at all in any form whatsoever.

Well, there is no lack of unprofessional behavior on anybodies part. I even felt bad about giving in to my more primitive urges and reacting to their disgusting behavior in like fashion. Oh well, my purposes were accomplished and I did try to be a source of encouragement to all those who posted their work for comment on that site. If someone's work was so bad I couldn't read all of it, I just refrained from commenting on it at all.

Wasn't that what Mother said? If I don't have anything good to say, don't say anything at all.

I've been away for awhile

It's been awhile, a long while, since I visited my blog. And I finally have something to say. I'm about to take my son and his equipment to a gig at a facility in town. He is playing in a rock band now and is THRILLED!
Some side notes:
I have experienced a brief but educational stay at Gather.com. I will have to expound on it at another time.
I also am working on a draft of an article about the Washington State Liquor Control board. I hope it will find a home as an essay or op/ed piece.